Healthy boundaries protect us. Persons who have been deeply hurt often have had or develop difficulty establishing and/or maintaining such boundaries. We can’t avoid some hurt, as when we are truly powerless or ignorant (not knowing) that we are in danger.  In all other cases, not establishing boundaries to protect ourselves is not much different than handing cocaine to a drug addict.

Sometimes, people don’t establish appropriate boundaries because accepting abuse fulfills a subconscious need they don’t know how to fill in a healthier way. Others have developed a false sense of powerlessness due to low self-esteem and/or a lack of information about helpful resources. Many others don’t know what an appropriate boundary is or how to put it in place or protect it. We are not at fault for these things. We might not even have realized the problem. As adults though, it is our responsibility to ask for help and to be willing to accept it. Even this is an idea new to some of us. Once you know, though, it is time to act. Start anywhere in whatever way you can. We may gain invaluable guidance from therapists, trained to assist in these areas among others. Books and classes may supplement our therapy.

source: Samuel Orgelbrand's Universal Encyclop...

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Immanuel Kant, a famous philosopher and ethicist, once said, “Maturity is the ability to exercise one’s intelligence without guidance.” Putting it more simply is the quote often heard in 12-step programs, “Stupidity is the tendency to keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.” If we acknowledge what isn’t working and seek solutions, we are ignorant yet intelligent. If we are well-schooled but do not seek solutions to our problems, we are either cowardly or prideful, and most definitely stupid. Another common 12-step program slogan reveals an apt universal lesson, “Ignorance can be fixed; stupidity is forever.”  Thankfully though, while stupidity may last forever, we are no longer amidst it the moment we make a change. Even if what we do is not the “answer,” we progress by exploring a new alternative.  If you’ve repeatedly been a victim, isn’t it time for a change?  Ask for the help you need.

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