- Some are accursed by stopping to think and forgetting to start; Me, I start to tweet and forget to stop.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff; tweet it instead.
- When you do a good deed, tweet it just in case Satan’s lawyer demands time-stamped documentation.
- Choose tweets over sweets; they won’t rot your teeth.
- You AREN’T paranoid; you ARE being followed!
- A lie: Noooo, I’m NOT gonna stay up 1/2 the night on Twitter.
- Spammers, you have no followers and follow no one, what makes you think I’m gonna click on your untitled shortlink to hell!?
- I get more blog views when I tweet, yet few views reflect a referral from Twitter. Ah, the mysteries of the great and mighty Twitter…
- I’ve decided that people who only follow me for a day were just trying to eavesdrop.
- I know it’s wrong, but I’m slightly embarrassed to be followed by eggheads (Tweeters with the generic egg icon as their profile ID pic).
- Just because a puppy adoringly follows me around doesn’t mean I should feel obligated to follow ITS stinky butt.
- What do you call someone who lurks on Twitter but posts nothing? A Tweeping Tom
- Why did Tweetie Bird fly into the internet cafe? He’d lost his voice.
- Tweeting in all caps is akin to screeching seagulls.
- If I should die before I tweet, just RT my best post if its worth the repeat.
Related articles
- You Un-Followed me! Don’t you love me anymore? (tubblog.wordpress.com)
- I Can’t Take It Anymore (wdednh.wordpress.com)
- Saving my favourite tweets (omzwerven.wordpress.com)
- D.C. Department of Transportation Warns No Work After ‘Rapture’ (foxnews.com)
- How to Build a Great Contest (seomoz.org)
- Tweeter To Be Prosecuted, Twitter Now Censoring? (yro.slashdot.org)
- Don’t like the new look Twitter? Use Tweetie (onsoftware.en.softonic.com)
- Twitter Discusses The Rapture (mashable.com)
- Twitter Fail: Why You Should NOT Just Keep Tweeting About Your Business (growmap.com)
- TweetyPop Is Like Time Machine For Twitter (macstories.net)
6 responses to “My Miscellaneous Original Twitter Humor”
Issac Tunnell
May 28th, 2011 at 13:25
I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write related to here. Awesome web log! -a.k.a. Virginia Lake
mollyjayne40
June 2nd, 2011 at 14:08
You may inquire about being a guest blogger on the Contact page.
Amarante
June 6th, 2011 at 06:01
Lol. I’m still getting to know your blog. Thanks! – a.k.a. Cyrstal Lofte
mollyjayne40
June 28th, 2011 at 20:01
Glad some made you laugh; I know a number of them were rather corny. 😀
kyle condon
July 6th, 2011 at 14:03
Hi molly , nice website best of luck
mollyjayne40
July 6th, 2011 at 16:03
Thanks Kyle. I’ll visit your soon. In the middle of wading through comments and messages at the moment. (: